In the light of today's news about the dubious legality of telling lies about people on the internet, I'd just like to say with respect to Matthew Wilson that I take it all back about the organic swimming pool, the Playboy mansion, the DNA testing and the health farm visits. I did in fact make all that stuff up.
I'd also like to state for the record that I really like Peter Seabrook and I admire his challenging and spunky attitude.
However, having said all this, I can reveal that, despite his reputation for being Britain's hunkiest gardener, it is absolute gospel fact that Matthew Wilson's most played tune on his I-Pod at the moment is soppy girl's blouse tunester Michael Bublé, "Home", and that Mateus recently attended the live concert by Bublé at the O2.
Wilson was overheard in the foyer saying "I'm just here for a friend, really," before later being seen getting a programme signed by Bublé inscribed "to Cleo."
The Coalition says: Hmm, Wilson, that's no excuse.