Friday, 29 May 2009

TIDINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS

I didn't know this before, but apparently it can help in your defence for the crime of putting your mum's dead body in the freezer for twenty years if you keep your garden 'in pristine condition'. 

12 comments:

Zoƫ said...

Wonder what you could get knocked off if I composted her instead? So much more Eco friendly than 20 years of eleccy, and good for the garden too.

VP said...

It's that tiny little detail quoted that makes our Press what it is ;)

HappyMouffetard said...

My neighbours can sleep soundly in their beds knowing that I'm too untidy to have dead bodies in my freezer, then. There may, however, be a few bodies strangled by fast-growing bindweed in the borders though.

emmat said...

This article has only gone to increase my suspicion of people whose gardens are just toooooo tidy

Elaine said...

This reminds me of my favourite ever overheard remark, at local swimming pool, as follows:

"My mother in law rang me last night and asked me, 'Darling, I've had a placenta in my freezer for absolutely ages, is it one of yours?' I told her that, no, all of mine are underneath the roses."

Am in awe of someone who can have unknown placentas in her freezer...

Juliet said...

That is really funny - must tell J-Ro (she is always trying to compost people - sometimes she even waits until they're dead - but as Zoe says, much more sensible than freezing them!).

Elaine :o

Victoria said...

i wonder what alerted the neighbour? Maybe the neatly kept gravestone in the front garden was a bit of a giveaway...

colleen said...

I defrosted my freezer this week for the first time ever. There were some very strange things in there including a bag of baby octupi, my old panda, a knitted scarecrow and a bag of wool (think moth). No humans. But then I don't live in Sidcup. Say no more...

Arabella Sock said...

We have a very small freezer - I'm not allowed to make jokes about who might fit in it any more.

Yolanda Elizabet Heuzen said...

20 years in a freezer and it never broke down? No power shortage either? Colour me amazed! Does anybody know what brand that freezer is, gotta have one too. ;-)

Yup, keep your garden pristine and you can get away with murder. Off to tidy up my garden!

LittleGreenFingers said...

I am still recovering from that placenta eavesdropped conversation...

Mr. McGregor's Daughter said...

Dang! I guess I'd better go clean up the garden right now.