Thursday, 13 November 2008


Dixter College, Oxford, November 2008

Dear American/ Welsh reader

Being from the New World, you probably stand outside the horticultural paradise that is our green and pleasant land - this royal throne of Titchmarsh, this sceptred isle, this England - like a small child rubbing your greasy nose up against the window of a cake shop.

But do not fear, gentle reader: I am here to guide you through the alleys and byways of the English horticultural scene, providing you with all you need to understand the admittedly sometimes arcane language and customs of our gardening culture: enabling you in just six short weeks to graduate proudly from Dixter College, Oxford summa cum laude with the title Master Gardener UK (certificate, gown and sweatshirts now on sale from the university online shop).

Using the combined power of English gardening’s finest minds, we have devised a multi-media introduction for you across many blog platforms, utilising the latest RSS technology. For just $199 in five easy instalments, we can offer you a unique insight into the world of the English garden – making you the envy of all your friends!

Sign up now for your first lesson – and wishing you great success in your studies,

Dulcibella Ffforsten-Hyde
Dixter College, OXONIENSIS


Zoƫ said...

The irony is, that is about sums up the shocking state of professional qualifications for Garden designers etc in the UK. Colleges ( both private and state funded) providing private Diplomas that for the most part aren't worth the paper they are written on, and are not recognised by the educational establishment, but probably cost you in excess of £3,500 to achieve.

There is I believe another tutoring service being set up by RHS judges and SGD high ups, and yet there appears to be no cohesive action by either organisation to try and provide some kind of recognised qualifications. With the exception of a few degree courses, which depending on the college are BA or BSc depending on the Art vs Horticulture bias, how do you know whether the people teaching you are in fact qualified to do so, or whether the qualification they offer had industry currency?

The post made me laugh, but for all the wrong reasons - there's a certain truth in it!

It really is a case of buyer beware.

Karen - An Artist's Garden said...

ironic giggle
From a Welsh Reader

VP said...

Awp - we've been thinking along similar lines, but with very different outcomes.

Just off to tweak my post for tomorrow a little bit ;)

Yolanda Elizabet said...

Will there be a continental version too for all the ignorami that populate the major part of Europe?

Yours sincerely,

Ever Hopeful in The Netherlands