Friday, 28 November 2008


Normally when we hear people whingeing on about how they are 'hardline Brussels sceptics', what they mean is that they hate the European Union and its cheese-eating, marmalade-standardising ways. This time of year, though, all the sprout haters come out of their moaney bland-vegetables-only woodwork and start going on about how they can't stand this top-class brassica. 

Okay: firstly, you don't have to eat them! No one said you had to eat them! You're a grown-up now! You can just choose not to!

Secondly, what, are our great British vegetables too good for you? Would you rather be nibbling on flea-bitten pak choi? Or so-called "heritage" communist tomatoes? You rummy pinko, what did we fight the war for? 

Thirdly, that just means there's more for us! HA HA HA. And how can you resist when they look as good as Simon's?

Thanks now, 
Matthew Sproutleby


VP said...

Too right! I choose not to eat them :)

I might give your recipe a go though, as long as you can confirm the usual rather noisy side-effects of eating them don't happen either.

Zoƫ said...

Sprouts rule ... I love them. Has anyone tried growing or eating the purple ones? Any opinions?

emmat said...

you could even be like Bartleby in the story by Herman Meville and just repeat politely "I prefer not to"

I didn't even know about the purple ones. I have been making Christmas pudding all afternoon and honestly I think i am drunk