Thursday, 21 August 2008

PARISH NEWSLETTER

















After many months of discussion our new prelate has been chosen, and I hope all the congregation will gather together to wish Brother Buckland luck in his new task. Brother Buckland has said he will bless anyone who comes to commune with him on Friday evening: he is shown here working in our vegetable garden here at St Berryfields, showing some small children (offscreen) all the accessible beauty of God's wonderful creation while humming "All Things Bright and Ethical" (a hymn of his own composition). 

We do so very much hope that he will be able to heal all the differences which affected our community during the election process, especially by encouraging people to talk and to pursue the good life, right down to their underwear

We do hope that this moment can signal an end to hostilities, and yet I have received an anonymous cryptic letter  as follows:

"God's will has not been done, and we will never rest until we avenge the wrong done to us, for as it is said in Habbakuk 2:11 - For the stone shall cry out of the wall, and the beetle out of the timber shall answer it."

Oh dear. I do hope this isn't the beginning of trouble in Midsomer Berryfield...




11 comments:

HappyMouffetard said...

Ha ha! Wonderful!

Anonymous said...

You are in an exceptionally naughty mood, but I like it!

Anonymous said...

Have you been stimulating your clematis?

Yolanda Elizabet said...

Wicked and pious, what more could a gardener/blogger possibly ask for?

Personally I hope that Saint Toby will not turn out to be a snorefest!

Arabella Sock said...

Don't you think he looks a bit like Tony Blair? The initials are the same too - how spooky. Is there no-one that Toby doesn't look like?

emmat said...

Aaah, anonymice, how nice to hear from you! I too am hoping Toby will not be a snorefest,... but we don't need to worry tonight as the lawnmower racing head-to-head is on; MW vs TB, round one. Ding ding!

VP said...

That could be a bit of a gorefest I fear...

emmat said...

After watching Shanaze or whatever the young people of today are called falling off her BMX in the OlympiX i'm glad they didn't attempt it

Alex said...

Where does he stand on sheds?

emmat said...

Toby never stands on sheds. He is a bit nambypamby + wouldn't even put sempervirums on a shed unless it had a strong enough structure. Qv his views on sheds,
http://www.gardenersworld.com/toby-buckland-interview/
This interview is so incredibly politically constructed that I suspect Toby of having had a whole string of horticultural spin doctors to write it.

"5. Would you consider putting a green roof on a metal shed?

If the shed structure is strong enough, yes. Metal does get very hot and cold, but when the quilt of plants is growing over the top, temperature fluctuations won't be a problem."

Such character he shows in that answer. He even claims to like tagetes in order to try and buy the alienated-Seabrook-loving-vote.

Alex said...

Interesting. He must like sheds a bit. I mean, given only 9 questions to answer, they picked one about sheds (albeit a slightly unusual one). I´ve changed my vote. Do you think he´ll let me on the telly?