TRANSCRIPT OF PRESS CONFERENCE, SATURDAY 30TH AUGUST

DCI Barnaby: Well, thank you all for coming. We know that you are all keen to get a bit more information on the Don Hall case, and we hope that you also may be able to be of help in getting a message out to the general public. 

Firstly, there have been a lot of media reports about the knicker elastic found in a flowerbed during our fingertip search. We'd just like to say at this stage that a sock voluntarily came down to the station yesterday to give a statement, and as a result we've been able to completely clear her from the enquiry. So this does seem to have been a bit of a red herring. 

Secondly, there has been a lot of comment about the blood at the murder scene. Yes, we did find some blood at the murder scene, although as early reports suggested, Brother Buckland was strangled. In fact it now seems likely that there was an element of sado-masochistic torture before the victim died and that we are looking for a really cold-blooded killer. 

Thirdly, we have one particular detail of the case where we think the public can help. As some of you may know several days before the murder the Vicar received an anonymous letter quoting Habbakuk, and when it came to an examination of Brother Buckland's body it seems that he was wearing underpants, which, not to put too fine a point on it, were not his own. Further research by the forensic lab suggests that these pants were used to strangle him before he was redressed. [gasps of shock] Some research by our own Sergeant Mouffetard tracked down the makers on the internet and I attach an image of them here. 

As you can all see there is obviously some sort of connection between the two clues, but we have yet to work it out. But if anybody knows who the real owner of those underpants are, I think we'd be a lot closer to solving this terrible tragic crime. Any questions before we have to go? Yes, one from the rather dark bruised-looking fingernail at the back.

Bruised Fingernail: Inspector Barnaby, this knicker elastic lead was so patently a red herring that I can't help feeling it may have been a fit-up. Have you got any comment?

DCI Barnaby: Yes well Mr Nail, we are looking at that possibility. I assure you that perversion of the course of justice is a crime we take very seriously indeed, and if someone is responsible we will do our utmost to bring them to book. Another question? Yes, the gentleman in the South American sun hat with the tassels.

Man in Hat: Inspector Barnaby, I can't help noticing your wife is considerably better at finding her way into criminal lairs than you are. Have you ever considered stepping aside and letting her take over?

DCI Barnaby: (Chuckles) Yes I have. But then who would make dinner? Next question. 

Anonymous: I feel strongly that all the attention in this case is going on Brother Buckland, but what about Tibbles? Just because a living being is of a different genus, it doesn't mean their death shouldn't be treated just as seriously! I think you are sweeping Tibbles under the carpet! 

DCI Barnaby: Oh dear that seems to be all we've got time for. We'll convene again on Wednesday.