Tuesday, 3 June 2008


Whilst we might quake in our shoes at the idea of stepping into the ring with the titanic Wilson, we have less trouble with the idea of watching our guy take on Old Man's Beardshaw.

Although, admittedly, Beardie does know quite a lot about plants.

And, he is televisually appealing.

And, now I think about it, he can fly.

Hmm. Maybe we should take him a bit more seriously as a threat. Especially now the Mighty Sock has thrown her 40% woollen weight behind his campaign, choosing the Dahlia as her campaign flower.

We feel here at JSHQ that the only possible response is for us to urge Swift supporters to adorn themselves in Goji berries. As all faithful Joe-watchers will know, Goji are just one of the unique vegetational choices our hero has picked to grow on his allotment.
"They're full of anti-oxidants," he cried.

"Hurray!" we all replied. "Let's wear them braided into our hair until such day as the BBC recognises the inherently greater worth of Mr Joe 'Excellent' Swift!"


The Black Finger Nail said...

Anti-oxidants possibly, but unfortunately they are also potentially full of Solanum diseases!

Hence, following a tip off on his blog from a south coast paramedic no less, "Joseph and His Technicolour Trianglular Beds" decided to follow DEFRA's advice and get rid of them (the berries not the beds).

They are GoneJo berries!

They've passed on! These berries are no more! They have ceased to be! They've expired and gone to meet their maker!

They are stiffs! Bereft of life, They rests in peace! Their metabolic processes are now 'istory! They've kicked the bucket, They've shuffled off their mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!


emmat said...

Was that what was in the black carrier bags then? I mean honestly, you mute the sound of GW for like one minute in the entire programme, and you miss really really important information.

The Black Finger Nail said...

The Old Bin Bag? Surely that was Christine being carted off to landfill....a large one! I love Christine....she's led me into S&M*....a "gag" a minute with her!

I actually missed Joe too as I was filming in the Jardins de Valloires in the rain.


* Ooops! I meant M&Ms - Peanut variety pref.

Arabella Sock said...

Ooooh telling fibs again emmat!! Muted the sound indeed - you were watching Corrie like the rest of us!

Quick tip: Watch GW on Catch up TV then you can fast forward through the Joe bits. Tee hee!

emmat said...

Damn, Arabella has sussed me out. I just basically want to beeee Carla and base the rest of my life on her as a role model.

emmat said...

PS Couldn't they do a Corrie style catch-up service on Gardeners world - then I really could switch over to ITV.

Lottie said...

Ahh but Joe has saved the Gardeners World from the dreaded Goji berry plague invading our allotments so he still deserves the credit! He put his black carrier man bags to good use!

Power to the Triangle I say!