Monday, 14 July 2008


So Victoria and I were just having a cup of tea, a piece of lemon cake and a bit of a chat in one of the marquees. Up comes this bloke who goes, "Oy, off my table!" in a cheery manner. 

Basically us two naughties from the Global Warming Newsletter had accidentally strayed into Seabrook Territory. So we had to get off the table for the man from the Sun. (It wasn't Peter himself, but one of his minions.)

Anyway then this woman comes up. "Hi Val," says the minion. 

"Val??!?!?!?" I sputter. "Not she of the fuchsia fame? I saw you in the paper yesterday! Why don't you come on over, Valerie, and all that?" 

Val looked at me strangely, trying to force a smile onto her face. 

"Yes," she eventually managed to bring herself to say. "That's me."

"I bet loads of people are going to be saying that to you today! Ha ha. Am I first? I bet lots of other people will do it too," I cheerfully burbled. 

She fixed me with a stern glazed expression. 
"I do hope not," she enunciated firmly, before walking off.


VP said...

Q. Why aren't you telling everyone that joke?

A. Because there's no Fuchsia in it


emmat said...

that's a good one!!!!

The Garden Monkey said...

Now be nice - the poor old girl probably has to listen to Seabrook banging on from dawn till dusk - God can you imagine?

Is it just me, or is he like Professor Yaffle from Bagpuss?

emmat said...

The story is definitely not intended to suggest that poor Val is anything other than really nice. It was hoped that the reader would sympathise with valerie at having to deal with a total Hampton such as myself, first thing in the morning.