Friday, 11 July 2008


Alarming reports are just coming into the Baklava news desk that the designers of the Porsche garden actually paid to arrange this week's horrendous weather, so that the technical side of the hard landscaping that makes up much of their controversial display plot would be tested to the full. 

Hampton Court visitors were in general disgusted by the revelations of such unabashed and cynical calculation on the part of the Germans. "It's like Jurgen Klinsmann and his diving all over again," said one disgruntled RHS member. 

An insider commented:  "Porsche were pretty pleased with the performance of their hard surfaces as the whole point of their garden was to test new ways of providing parking places that can still absorb heavy run-off. Plus, everyone knows the rain is sexy." Apparently one of the main inspirations of the design was Justin Timberlake's famously erotic 2003 video.

The Coalition says: Ooh, Justin in the garden in the rain. I need a cold shower. Oh, conveniently here comes one now. 


Arabella Sock said...

I'm assuming the idea of the disappearing Porsche thingy is that you get out of the car first and then push a button to send it down into the ground. Except that you wouldn't would you? Well I wouldn't. I would have to see what it was like going down in it (so-to-speak!)! And then what would happen if the mechanism jammed and you were stuck in the car underground? It would be bound to happen. Fat Rascal just bought a new oven which has a locking device and it locked for no reason trapping her biryani inside!!!

emmat said...

Frankly that will teach her right for eating curry when she lives in la belle France.

In fact it is probably a special device that has to be fitted by French cooker sales outlets under government rules to prevent foreign nosh coming in and diluting the cultural heritage

emmat said...

sorry i missed the going down in it joke the first time. Hee hee!

Fat Rascal said...

Well, if I only ate cheese I'd be very fat indeed!
As it is I'm not fat, nor a bloke but definitely a bit of a rascal.

I went shopping yesterday and the supermarket had several different brands of basmati, plus Thai rice and jasmine rice but no Arborio at all! I was going to make a rascally risotto which is at least European!

For those who are still interested, our dinner was finally liberated after Sarkozy paid the ransom.