Monday, 7 July 2008

DEATH PLUNGE PLANTS HIGHLIGHT PLIGHT OF NEGLECTED CONTAINERS



















Two window boxes of petunias and begonias are tonight recovering in a secret location after spending the day threatening to jump from a precarious ledge at the summit of Northfields' famous "The Plough" boozer.

 The police were called just after 11am when a passer-by phoned to say she'd seen "a couple of absolutely desperate looking containers" on the roof, from a nearby bus. 

Climbing equipment including a seventeen foot ladder was required, but fortunately the force were able to negotiate the safe descent of all concerned. 

Although there has as yet been no official statement, an insider spoke exclusively to us here at Baklava Shed: "There's a lot of alienation amongst these kind of container plants. They work hard all year, and then when it comes to official recognition from judges at shows like Hampton Court, they completely miss out. I think the begonias in particular had become quite depressed about the situation."

A spokesman for the Begonia Defence Association agreed. "I wouldn't be surprised if we see more and more of this kind of thing. It's very sad, but I think a lot of window box plants and container plants in general feel very undervalued and marginalised. They are often totally ignored all summer while owners fuss over their more exotic plants - getting underfed and watered whilst flowering their socks off. You can see how it would lead to misery, really."

Some nearby pelargoniums, however, were more sceptical about the flowers' motives. "You know petunias and begonias," they told BSC last night, "We don't like to be mean, but they are just very, very attention-seeking."

2 comments:

mss @ Zanthan Gardens said...

Brilliant!

VP said...

You need to be most careful with phrases concerning socks. Just look where it got JAS over the weekend!

And many thanks for coming to my defence re the standard of my poetry. I'm most hurt by JAS' remarks ;)

Can't wait for all the insider goss on Hampton Court from you...